Thursday, November 18, 2010

Where Have I Been???

First, lemme say that I am so flattered/excited/intrigued that you guys responded to my blog.  I’ve been kinda out of commission lately, mainly because of the following reasons:

1.      1.  I just got married.  (My cover is b-l-o-w-n.  I’m not celibate.  Guess I’ll never achieve enlightenment!  Hell, I probably won’t even “enter the stream” or attain “Beginner’s Mind” since I’m too busy having sex with my new wife. )

2.    2.   I’ve been working on a novel that has little to do with actual Buddhism.  (Though I guess, depending on how philosophical you are, EVERYTHING has something to do with Buddhism, right?  Oh… wait, wait wait!  NOTHING has to do with Buddhism because in the end, EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!!)
3     3.    I recently started a new teaching job at a charter school in Manhattan, where I generally work about twelve hours a day and I feel so goddamn mentally burnt out at the end of the day that I can barely motivate myself to light a stick of incense… let alone PRACTICE “so-called” Buddhism… let alone write another post about whether said Buddhism “sucks” or not.  Ha.   

4.     4.   I just realized emptiness last Saturday.  For real.   Now I understand that this blog is actually pointless, as it doesn’t exist as an independent phenomenon.  

The last one is a joke.  I didn’t actually realize emptiness… YET.  I’m planning to do that for my New Year’s Resolution, so I have a couple of weeks.  Wish me luck!  

Question:  Can one realize emptiness without owning a large, 24-carat gold-plated statue of Avalokitshevara?  

Answer:  Yes, but if you don’t own the statue, you must at least wear a forty-dollar set of jade prayer beads around your left wrist every day for five years and own every book that the Dalai Lama was ever credited with writing.  (There’s a lot of ‘em out there.  If you THINK you’ve got them all, you’re probably wrong.  They’re everywhere.  Go to Barnes and Noble.  The DL’s got more shelf space than John Grisham and James Patterson combined!)

Ok, enough with the sarcasm.  You’re probably vomiting right now.  Seriously guys, I really appreciate all the comments I’ve received lately.  I feel totally motivated and I’m planning to make another long post now that I’ve actually got some people that want to hear what I have to say.  

Topic of next post:  Meditation.  What is it?  Why the hell would you want to DO it? 


  1. That was fun. Good to have you back mate!
    BTW, you are going to piss off readers by bragging about sex with your "new" wife. [sounds like you have had several]
    Such boasting will only result in SchadenFreude later (as my post says).

  2. Will be interesting to read another long post from you -- congrats on the marriage -- all the luck in the world to you both --- and regarding Barry Graham, may I direct your attention here?

  3. Sabio... I really like your blog. I'm adding you to my blogroll..

  4. Would you guys add me to your blogrolls? I'm gonna try and keep this thing updated!

  5. I'm sorry, not to cast to dark a shadow on your blog (it seems like a fun way to connect and blow off steam)-- but your comments on Buddhism, emptiness, and "nothingness" sounds more like nihlism than Buddhism. That's all very cute if you are into Nietzsche, but as far as Buddhist practice and philosophy goes, nihlism, just as in eternalism, is an untenable point of view.

    I agree that mass-maketed Buddhist stuff can be found in everyday life these days... images of "enlightenment" and "Buddhism" are used to market consumer products, and that's actually kinda icky. Even sincerely practicing Buddhists can get caught up in buying fancy things instead of trying to just open their hearts and minds. But it's also easy to forget that we all live in samsara-- just because we are Buddhist, doesn't mean we are enlightened.

    You keep mentioning head-shaving and celibacy, as if those are the keys to attaining enlightenment. That's a sweetly naiive view of Buddhism, sort of like saying the fat laughing dude at the Chinese restaurant is the historical Buddha (he isn't). There are plenty of non-celibate non-monastic practicioners who attained full enlightenment (take Vimalakirti, or Padmasambhava...). So while it's perhaps useful to a degree to feel upset that one's non-monastic non-celibate life doesn't "jive" with the lives of some living Masters (such as the Dalai Lama or the Karmapa), that doesn't mean it doesn't "jive" with Buddhist practice or enlightenment.

    Last, and this might sound a little harsh... but if you life is so busy/stressful/hectic that you can't meditate or pratice, when did you expect to practice? When life gets easy/simple/peaceful? You'll never ever practice at that rate. This is precisely when you SHOULD go to the cushion, not run from it. If you claim to write or speak from some level of wisdom or authority on what is or is not authentic practice (which your blog claims to do), you should at least DO the practice... othwerise you are just as superficial and full of shit as the guy who markets your cola or your designer jeans with a picture of the Buddha.

  6. Thanx John, you are on my blog roll. It has a roll-over describing your blog. Hope you like it. Thanks for the mention!

  7. Dear John,

    I've meditated quite a bit and found nothing other than a little reduction in anxiety.

    Personally I think Buddhism is bullshit.